Getting to know you
by beckyboo99
Summary: With Sirius cleared of all charges, it's time for Harry to finally get the family he craves. But adjusting to family life isn't easy, for either of them! May be spanking in later chapters- don't read if it offends!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer- I don't own any of these characters, they all belong to  
Jk!

Summary- With Sirius cleared of all charges, it's time for Harry to  
finally get the family he craves. But adjusting to family life isn't  
easy, for either of them!

A/N- I know lots of sirius/harry stories have been done before, i'm  
trying to make it slightly different, but some things will probably  
seem similar to other stories, it's just bound to happen! If you  
don't like it feel free to let me know! I get very nervois about  
posting! lol :)

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As the Hogwarts express bumped along the track, children of all ages  
were becoming more and more excited at the prospect of going home for  
the summer. A full two months with no classes, no detentions and no  
Filch. However for one Harry Potter, being excited to leave Hogwarts  
was an entirely new and startling discovery.

Staring out of the window of the carriage he shared with Ron and  
Hermione, thoughts were swirling round Harry's head. Sirius was free!  
He had a Godfather, he had someone to go and live with for the  
summer, someone who actually cared! Well at least he assumed Sirius  
cared, he'd never actually said the words, but he'd asked him to go  
and live with him and, well anything was better than staying with the  
Dursleys..wasn't it?

Harry shook his head, it was all so complicated. Compared to dealing  
with how he felt now, freeing Sirius had been easy. Thanks to  
Hermione's quick thinking and spellwork Pettigrew had been captured,  
sirius had been cleared and he was on his way to his new home. But  
was he excited? He had been, at first.

All he'd wanted was a proper family, like Hermione and Ron. But  
living with Sirius, was that going to be a proper family? From the  
odd things he'd heard, Sirius was just as much a kid as him, and  
well..not that he minded, he wanted his Godfather to be fun, but he  
couldn't help wondering what it would be like to have a real father  
figure.

The fact remained however, that he and Sirius barely knew eachother.  
Harry desperately wanted that family life, but right now it just  
seemed like it was going to take so much effort to get there. Harry  
sighed to himself, why couldn't everything just be simple? Nothing in  
his life ever seemed to be simple!

Unless he was over thinking..he could be...he could get to the  
station, sirius would be there and he'd just instantly know  
everything was going to be fine and he'd get the perfect family life  
he wanted.

All he could do was hope...

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Sirius Black, was a nervous, bumbling wreck. Standing next to Remus  
at the station, twisting his hands in front of his stomach, he just  
couldn't stand still.

He'd waited years for Harry to be able to come live with him, it was  
the only reason he'd survived Azkaban. But Harry had been a baby.  
This was a teenager, a grown teenager, with hormones and...and...  
well other teenage things and well that was a scary thought.

He'd bonded with Harry the minute Jame's had placed him in his arms,  
and he had bonded again in the shrieking shack. But what if Harry  
hated him?

He didn't know what Harry expected or wanted from living with him. He  
wanted so desperately to give Harry the home he wanted and deserved.  
The home they both deserved. After everything that poor boy had been  
through, he deserved a nice home. But could Sirius really give him  
that? Was he good enough?

Did Harry expect him to be the fun Godfather? He knew that Harry had  
that impression of him, and yeah..it was a big part of who he  
was...this fun guy. But he wanted to be able to be a role model to  
Harry too, and lets face it, spending twelve years in Azkaban was not  
a very good start! He just didn't know how to go about it, he didn't  
know what Harry expected and he just didn't want to dissapoint him.

Remus had come along for support, and was going to be living with  
them for the summer anyway. He knew Remus loved the boy as much as he  
did, and was an unofficial Godfather to him anyway. But Sirius  
couldn't help that spark of jealousy creeping in, Harry and Remus had  
already bonded...they had had all year. He just wanted to get this  
right, wanted this to be the one thing, he didn't mess up, so as the  
Hogwarts express pulled into the station...

...All he could do was hope...

TBC...  
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	2. Chapter 2

Harry stepped off the train dragging his trunk behind him, waving goodbye to his friends he started walking to where he could see his Godfather and Remus waiting for him. Taking one look at Sirius, Harry's heart skipped a beat, he looked...nervous. Well that was strange! His Godfather was stood ringing his hands, anxiously looking around him, Harry presumed he was just trying to ignore the obvious stares he was recieving from the students..and even their parents. Looking around him Harry saw, who he assumed must be Neville's Grandmother, take one look at Sirius and quickly usher Neville away. He felt his stomach twist painfully. It wasn't fair! Sirius was innocent! He had been cleared! It had even been in the Newspaper! People could be so...so...mean! There was no other word for it. His Godfather had done nothing wrong and yet people were still looking at him like he was a caged lion ready to strike at any minute!

Shaking his head, he started walking a bit faster to where Sirius was stood. He'd show them! He'd show them all that he wasn't ashamed of his Godfather! But he couldn't help being scared. How exactly was he supposed to greet his Godfather? Should he hug him? Shake his hand? Or maybe just nod? He could see Ron hugging his dad out of the corner of his eye, but Sirius wasn't his dad. Maybe Sirius wouldn't want Harry to hug him. Why did this whole thing have to be so complicated!

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Sirius was panicking, all the students must be have gotten off the train by now! And yet he couldn't see Harry anywhere! He could see everyone staring at him, or edging away as if he was going to harm their children. He was tempted to wave at them just to see their faces, but he didn't want to create any trouble for Harry. But where exactly was Harry! He was taking aggggggggggggeeeees! Sirius Black was never a very patient man, and he just wanted to see his Godson and convince himself that he'd been worrying for nothing. He felt a hand on his arm and turned to Remus who was smiling at him.

"Padfoot, calm down, he'll be here in a minute." Merlin Remus knew him so well!

"I know Remmy, i'm just excited that's all! There's so many things i want to tell him, so much stuff we've got to do together! Two months is hardly any time at all. Hell we have Twelve...nearly THIRTEEN years to catch up on!" Remus shook his head, Sirius was expecting such alot from this summer and he just hoped he didn't end up dissapointed if it didn't go exactly as he planned.

"Sirius, you have the rest of your lives to catch up. Don't pin everything on one summer." Sirius sighed, he knew that. He wasn't stupid, he didn't think everything was going to be perfect, but he just wanted to at least try and make it perfect for Harry, because Harry deserved it.

"I know Rem, I know...but..i've waited so long...it's like any minute now someones going to come up to me and say they've made a mistake and i have to go back to Azkaban.I need to see him Moony, i need to convince myself that he's ok, that were both ok. That everythings fine now. Do you understand?" Of course Remus understood, he'd spent them twelve years living alone, he'd been in his own self made prison and even he was having trouble believing the that everything was getting better now. But he hadn't had dementors to contend with as well. Or the obvious neglect that Harry had. He wanted everything to be ok for them. He wanted it to be MORE than ok, he wanted it to be great, but he had enough sense to know that it was going to be one bumpy ride to get there.

"Sirius, all i'm saying is, you both need to adjust. You both need some kind of stability in your lives. He's just a kid Sirius, he's not James." Sirius turned to him in shock. Never for one second had he thought of Harry as James. He knew he had a role to play with Harry he never would have with James. Harry needed that parental figure in his life, it was obvious as soon as he'd asked him if he wanted to live with him. He'd jumped at the chance, the poor kid hadn't even thought twice about moving in with someone accused of murder. He was starved of affection and from what Dumbledore had told him, was just as reckless, if not more than Sirius had been at that age. His family hadn't cared, they'd let him do what he wanted, as long as it didn't interfere with their plans or the dark lords and he'd felt unloved. Like noone cared enough to tell him what was right or wrong. He wanted to fill that role in Harry's life. It was just a question of whether Harry wanted that too.

"Remmy, i know he's not James. I never for a second presumed that he could take Jame's place. No one can. But i don't need another friend like James. I have his memory and i have you. Yeah i want to have fun with Harry, because after all...i am Sirius Black and who doesn't have fun with me! I know what i need to do Mooney, you don't need to worry about that." Remus smiled then, a full beaming smile at Sirius. He was so proud. Sirius hadn't even had the chance to grieve for James and Lilly yet, not properly anyway, without the help of dementors. And here he was, thinking about what Harry needed, not what he wanted. Sirius was going to make a great parent. He just knew it.

They both turned back to the crowd then, spotting a familiar mop of black hair moving towards them.

"Harry!" Sirius shouted. As Harry looked up, Sirius could see the mixed emotions on playing across his face. First aprehension, then relief...then...could it be...joy??

"Sirius!" Harry shouted happily as he made dodged between the jostling crowd to reach his Godfather quicker.

Upon reaching them however he stopped a few paces in front of them, unsure of what to do. Sirius however meerly grinned and pulled the kid into a tight hug.

Remus chuckled to himself, Harry's face was a picture. He seemed shocked and tense in Sirius arms at first, however he'd slowly melted into them, tentavly bringing his arms up to hug his Godfather back. His face taking on a look of pure joy that made Remus want to laugh and cry all at the same time. These two needed eachother, but who knew how Sirius was going to take having a teenager to look after.

It was going to be a very interesting summer indeed...

TBC...

A/N- Thanks so much for your reviews, it means alot to me! I can't promise updates are going to be this quick all the time lol, but i'm getting quite into this story! It's weird that when your writing a story, it's just like reading one except you can make all the things you want to happen, happen! Please let me know what you think, i am so sorry about the spelling mistakes, i'm doing this on notepad, not word because my word is being weird so if anyone feels like betaring for me please let me know i would appreciate any help!


	3. Chapter 3

Walking out of the station, Sirius slung an arm round Harry's shoulders.

"Well kiddo, we've got alot to talk about, but first things first. We've got choices to make, Dumbledore has offeredus rooms at Hogwarts, if you'd like to stay there for the summer, seems he's bended the rules a little, what with us both being famous and incredibly handsome, we're going to need somewhere quite private." Sirius paused then to look at Harry, who's face seemed to have dropped. Ok so he knew he was being overly familiar with the kid, but he felt like he'd known Harry his whole life. This was his Godson, and Sirius Black did not do awkward situations and there would definately be no awkwardness with family. He just wouldn't allow it. However there was the fact that the poor boy looked so incredibly dissapointed at this moment that made Sirius think he'd done something terrible. Catching Remus' eye, Sirius paused for a second and turned Harry so they were facing eachohter. Crouching down to his level he fixed Harry with a reassuring smile.

"Hey...what's wrong, you know if you're not happy with something you can just say. I don't expect you to be happy about every decision made, that's part of what being a families about, discussing things that you're not happy with." Harry smiled weakly then and his face scrunched up as if he was seriously considering whether to say what he so desperately wanted to get out.

"Well...i just...i don't want to seem ungrateful to Dumbledore or anything...but i just...i dunno...i don't really wana live at Hogwarts..." He trailed off then, eyes glued to the floor, as if scared of how Sirius would react. Sirius meerly grinned however and tilted Harry's chin so that their eyes met.

"Ah ha, well problem solved the, because you see, i don't particuarly want to live at Hogwarts either, but i thought i'd give you the option. You see i do have a house, a rather nice house if i do say so myself, that me and Mooney picked out just a few days ago...so we'll just tell Dumbledore he's welcome to pop round for tea anytime, but we don't really think we can face seeing him everyday." Seeing Harry's shocked look, Sirius started laughing, "Relax kiddo, i'm just kidding, Dumbledore will understand, i'm sure he didn't really want me having free reign over Hogwarts for the whole summer!" Harry smiled then, a real smile that reached his eyes, and sirius thought he'd never seen something so utterly captivating and innocent in his entire life.

"We have a house? A actual house?" Sirius chuckled slightly at that.

"Yes Harry, an actual house, with windows and everything!" Harry laughed then too, so this was what it felt like to be truley happy. Ok so he knew that he still had all these doubts and worries. But right now he just couldn't even bring himself to think about them. He had a home to go too, and as much as he loved Hogwarts, it had been where he wanted to stay to get away from his family. He didn't want to be there when trying to start a new one. But Sirius seemed to understand that, he made everything seem so simple and easy, like worrying was a thing of the past. And he knew it was such a little thing and they had so much further to go, but he so desperately wanted this to work with Sirius.

So he happily followed Sirius out of the station, to wherever their new home was going to be...

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Lions den...that's what he'd been told to say into the floo, well he'd said that, he was sure he'd said that. But he did not seem to be in a house. And he couldn't see Sirius or Remus anywhere. Instead he was in a large stone room, with what seemed to be piles and piles of...books? Nooo they didn't look like books really. On closer inspection, they seemed to be...comics? Except these comics moved...WIZARDS COMICS. He'd heard Ron talking about wizard comics before. They were extremely rare now, as they'd gone out of fashion a long time ago, so these must be worth so much! He didn't need the money for himself but...well, it might be nice to contribute something to Sirius...or even Remus and he knew how much Ron needed money. And these comics they were just sitting there. Not doing anything. It couldn't do any harm.

But first he needed to figure out where he was, and how to get back! The stone room had another door leading off from it, but when Harry reached it, he discovered it had no handle. Ok..he wouldn't panic. He was going to get to his new house, because this couldn't go wrong! It just couldn't, he was not going to be stuck in a stone room for the rest of his life, not when he had a chance at a real summer for once! Noticing he still had his hand clenched, he opened his fist, to see a small pile of floor powder settled there!

YES! He could just go back into the floo and attempt to get home again! But first things first. He'd grab a few comics, first. Taking some from a smaller pile, he figured weren't that important he made his way back over to the fireplace. This time shouting Lions den, loud and clear...just to make sure!

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Falling out of the floo onto plush cream carpet, he could definately tell he was home now! Most likely because he had one very agitated Godfather pulling him up, dusting him off and asking about a dozen questions all at once!

"Where were you? Are you ok? Are you hurt? What took you so long? Do you know how worried we've been!" Hearing a chuckle from the side of the room, Harry turned his head to where he could see Remus perched on the edge of a chocolate coloured sofa.

"Sirius he's fine, let him get his bearings will you and then he can answer your questions!" Casting a skeptical look over his Godson one last time, Sirius allowed Harry to perch on the edge of the sofa next to Remus while he pulled up the matching armchair to sit opposite Harry.

"Well come on then...where have you been?" Sirius asked, his voice edged with concern about what could have happened to his Godson in the fifteen minutes it seemed to take him to floo to their home.

"I just got mixed up with the floo Sirius, that's all...i ended up in this...erm..." Here Harry paused, he didn't know whether or not to mention the comics. He knew they were old and covered in dust, but he didn't want to get into trouble with Sirius already...he'd only just moved in...and he'd taken the comics for a good cause. "Well in this house, so i...just realised you two weren't there and floo'd back again." He finished with a sheepish smile at his Godfather.

Sirius let out a sigh of relief, before hugging Harry to him once more. This time Harry was less shocked and returned the hug with equal enthusiasm. Wow, this was what it was like to have someone worried about where he'd been. He'd got lost in the floo once before but it had felt nothing like this when he'd been reunited with them. Sirius seemed genuinely relived that he was back safe and sound. But Harry couldn't help but feel guilty about lying to his Godfather already.

Pulling away and holding Harry by the shoulders, Sirius grinned at him.

"Remind me to teach you how to use the floo properly kiddo, either that, or we figure out a whole new mode of transport...now come on...i wanna show you round, you must be dying to see our new house...oooo and your room...and the garden...i even got Remus to help me get one of them bellyvision things to watch." He finished with an even bigger grin. Harry couldn't help but laugh as he was pulled up from the chair and dragged from the room.

TBC...

A/N- Ok i couldn't resist writing more, and yes i realise this chapter seems rather random lol, but i am going somewhere with it, it's going to form part their relationship! Thanks so much for all your reviews, i really appareicate everyone that's taken the time to review! Please let me know what you think and anything you would like to see happen, i do have the story planned out but i am willing to incorporate ideas, as you are the people that have to read the story, its as much yours as it is mine :)


	4. Chapter 4

wow

wow! That was the only word going through Harry's head as he was shown around his new house. Huh…his house, that had a nice ring to it. The Dursleys had never really been a home to him, but he'd only been here two minutes and already he felt completely at ease. Sirius had dragged him from room to room, eagerly showing him the old fashioned pine kitchen, the downstairs marble bathroom and Sirius's brightly decorated 'study' which he claimed he had absolutely no idea what he was going to use it for yet. Then he was promptly dragged upstairs to look at the second bathroom, which had the largest bathtub he'd ever seen, they'd skipped both Remus' and Sirius' room as Sirius claimed they were full of junk that hadn't been sorted through yet and went straight to the door at the end of the landing. Harry's stomach had gone all funny just looking at that door because right there...smack bang in the middle...was a plaque reading..._'pronglet's room.'_

He had a plaque, in his house, on his bedroom door, if that didn't scream 'welcome home' he didn't know what did. Sirius had laid a hand on his shoulder at that point, as if understanding exactly how he was feeling and Harry couldn't help his eyes tearing up at that thought as well...someone understood him...an adult really understood him…at least he seemed like he did. God if having a family was going to turn him into such a sap then maybe he didn't want one...no...Take that back...he really did want a family...he just didn't want to be acting like such a...a..._girl!!_

Propelled out of his thoughts by a gentle shove towards the door Harry had tentavely turned the knob and stepped into his room.

WOW! Just wow! He had no other word to use; he'd just stood there and gaped at the quality of his room. Sirius had really gone all out. It was really big for a start, with a window taking up a good three quarters of the wall on the left hand side of the room. It had a plush red window seat with gold embroidery. Probably to match the rest of the room, which was done up in true Gryffindor colours. The walls were white, but covered with quiditch posters and a border of golden snitches and the carpet was, of course, red. The bed which was against the far wall was practically a clone of his four poster in his dorm except this one seemed to have a pattern of snitches carved into the headboard. He had a bedside table with a cool reading lamp, shaped like a snitch and Harry seemed to sense Sirius had gotten over excited with the quiditch theme. He had a bookcase with red and gold beanbags in front of it, filled with so many books Harry knew he'd never read them all in his life. Of course he had all the boring stuff like a wardrobe and a desk to do his homework on, but the best bit, was the ceiling. It was a bit like the great hall at Hogwarts, except on a smaller scale, apparently it was charmed to change depending on what time of day it was, and Harry just couldn't take his eyes off it. He'd gone from sleeping in a cupboard to being able to watch the sky as he lay in bed.

He really was one of the luckiest boys in the world.

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Ok Sirius could admit that he'd gone a little overboard when decorating Harry's room. Remus had tried to persuade him not to go for all the quiditch decor, but he just couldn't resist. And ok so Harry might be a little old for the snitch lamp, but it was just so cool! It was a lamp, shaped like a snitch! It floated for Merlin's sake; it really didn't get much cooler than that! And so what if he was spoiling the lad with the ceiling and all the books and posters, he was his Godson and if he wanted to give him a dream room he could! Harry deserved it, he had years of not being spoiled to catch up on he deserved a nice room.

And…no it wasn't because Sirius desperately wanted Harry to like him...it wasn't! Ok maybe it was the tiniest bit. He just wanted to please him and make him happy. He knew that at some point they were going to argue about things, like curfews or bedtimes but Sirius never ever wanted it to be said that he didn't provide for Harry. That Harry didn't have everything he could possibly need.

And no...He wasn't going to spoil him, Harry wasn't going to become some pampered prince, but he was allowed to have a nice room and clothes and books and anything else that all other children his age have. Because that was Sirius' job and he was jolly well going to do it right!

Leaving Harry to get settled in his room he'd wandered back downstairs to Remus who had decided to let Sirius give Harry the grand tour of the house. He was sat on the sofa now, reading a book and Sirius couldn't help but wonder why he was distancing himself from them. Sure_ he_ was Harry's _official_ guardian, but Remus was living with them too, he didn't have to feel that he couldn't be involved in everything. Plopping himself next to Remus he casually plucked the book from the werewolves hands.

"Soooo…" He said while casually flipping through the book, "We are reading about plants today…interesting…Harry's home…but yeah…let's just read about plants instead…" With a sigh Remus snatched the book back.

"I happen to like plants." He answered, getting comfortable on the sofa once more.

"More than Harry?" Sirius enquired innocently, he really was curious, Remus had been just as excited as him that Harry was coming to live with them, yet he was sat down here reading a book about _plants _for Gods sake. He could understand if it was something cool like dragons or quiditch, but plants…seriously? Remus it seemed however did not appreciate his curiosity, his eyes were darkening and his hands were getting white from where he was clenching the book so tightly.

"No Sirius, in answer to your idiotic question, I do not like plants more than Harry.' Sirius winced at the hard edge in Remus' voice, but getting him angry really was the only way to get some true feelings out of his friend. Especially if he was ashamed of them feelings.

"Come on Remmy, seriously, why are you sat down here reading a boring book, when your Godson is home." Remus sighed as he stood to put the book back on the shelf.

"_Your_ Godson Sirius."

Sirius felt his heart clench painfully at Remus' words. He sounded so broken, his voice filled with such raw emotion that it broke Sirius' heart to hear it come from his best friend. He was just grateful that Remus had his back to him right now because Sirius didn't think he could bear to see the sadness in his eyes.

"_Our _Godson Remmy, he's ours, Lilly and James would have wanted us both to care for him. You're moony! You're the sensible one; you really think I could look after Harry by myself? That I'd _want _to care for him on my own? Don't get me wrong Harry and I, we could make a go of it, but we're a real family with you Rem!" He looked at the his friend sadly, he could see his shoulders stiffening as if preparing to argue that point, until Sirius whispered. "We need you Remus, _I _need you, I'm scared to do this by myself, I'm so frightened that I'm going to mess him up, we're supposed to do this together, it's how it's always gone, we stick together, please don't change that now.'

Remus turned round slowly and looked at his friend, he wanted to believe him so badly, he did want to be part of a family again. He'd lost his parents before he'd even finished school, being on Voldemort's hit list had made them prime targets, then to lose Lilly and James not long after he had thought that was just as bad, but to lose Sirius and Peter as well. All of his remaining family in one night, Remus had never imagined getting over it, or even coming to terms with it.

Yeah…he'd carried on living, he'd been tempted to end it…once…the very night it had all happened, he'd sat on his sofa, an empty bottle of fire whiskey by his side, twirling his wand round his fingers. But he hadn't, because he got the call that Harry was still alive. So Harry had been his world, for the last twelve years. Even though he couldn't be with him because of his condition, just knowing that Harry was still alive, without his parents, or any family worth mentioning had gave him the strength to carry on. Because one day Harry was going to be old enough to rule his own life and when he was, Remus would be able to be part of that once more. He wanted Harry to have some link to his parents…and Remus needed that link too.

Yet now it was happening, Sirius was free, they had a house, they had _Harry _and yet he felt like he didn't belong. Ministry law prevented him from having joint guardianship of Harry with Sirius, so he was the outsider, the charity case, living with Sirius, practically off Sirius' money and yet he couldn't bring himself to leave because he loved them too much. Why couldn't it all be simple? But Sirius was waiting for a reply, and Remus had to give him something to go on, he couldn't tell him all that because there really wasn't anything Sirius could do to change the law.

"I'm not going anywhere Siri." He said with a small smile towards his friend. Sirius however narrowed his eyes at him.

"Oh…I know your not Remmy, that was never a worry of mine. What I mean is I need you to really be a part of this. Harry needs you! So what if I'm officially down as his guardian, that means squat and you know it! Don't think I don't know what's going through your head. You think because I'm down on the paperwork that you have no place in this family. Well you're wrong! Lilly and James named you as guardian with me in their will, it means nothing to the ministry Remmy but it means a hell of a lot to me, you and Harry. In fact I'd say it means just about everything!"

Remus stared at his friend for a moment before he broke down into tears. Sirius wasted no time into pulling his friend into a hug.

"I'm sorry Siri, I want to be a part of this, I do…everythings happened so fast…I thought there was never any hope…but there is…your back…I have my friend back and we have Harry…I've been keeping things in for so long…it's strange to have someone who knows what I'm feeling again.'

Sirius pushed him away at that so he could look him in the eyes.

"Remmy, I know, believe me I know what a shock this is. Sometimes I still feel like I'm still in Azkaban having some sort of dream. I'd have them sometimes you know, the dementors…they'd let you have some nice thoughts sometimes just so they could bring you back into reality with a bang. I worry that this is just that. But it's not Mooney it's real. And it's never going to be like it was, we're never going to have Lilly and James back again, but we have Harry, so they are with us, both of them! They left us Harry Rem, they left him to _us! _So we are both going to honor that and bring Harry up the best we can!"

They stared at each other for another few seconds, until Remus laughed suddenly and pulled Sirius into another hug.

"I never thought I'd see the day when you became responsible and serious!"

Pulling away from Remus once more with a grin on his face Sirius said, "Of course I'm serious my name's…ooof.."

"Promise me you wont finish that pun and I'll move my hand. Do you promise?" Sirius nodded frantically, and Remus moved his hand from his mouth with a grin.

"I missed you Siri."

"Yeah, I missed me too!" Remus laughed, but he knew that there was some truth in that statement. Sirius had missed being happy, he'd missed being able to laugh and joke and just act silly. He'd not been able to do that in twelve years. He'd not known happiness in twelve years, which was a long time to be miserable, for both of them.

"You know I missed you to though Rem?" Remus nodded as he stood up.

"Yeah I know, but enough of this acting like old men, lets go see _our _Godson" He said with a grin as he held a hand out to pull Sirius off the sofa.

"Old men? I'm not old Remus Lupin. I'll never be old! Come on, I'll race you upstairs!"

"Oi, Sirius! That's cheating!" Remus shouted as he ran after the big black dog up the stairs.

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A/N- I apologize for the really long wait for this chapter! Everything got a bit hectic and I had exams and what not! I want to thank you all for your lovely reviews and I noticed a lot of you had a problem with Harry stealing the comics. Well there is a reason, other than what was said when he did it. There is a deeper reason to him doing it and nooo he's not possessed! Don't worry he's not just turning into a thief. I know not much Harry in this chapter, but I felt it was important to sort out Sirius and Remus' relationship, twelve years is a long time and they are both likely to be feeling an awful lot of confusion, which most of it wasn't really addressed in this chapter. I want this story to be realistic; they can't all be incredibly happy straight away. Sorry if it annoyed any of you. Thanks again for reading, let me know what you think J


	5. Chapter 5

A/N- I'm so sorry for the long wait for this chapter, and if I haven't responded to your review

A/N- I'm so sorry for the long wait for this chapter, and if I haven't responded to your review! I am extremely grateful to every single review I receive and I try to take on board everything you say! I've had a bit of a dodgy computer and I've been on holiday so they are my excuses. Slight pointless chapter, but I felt the story needed it. I feel like the characters need to be understood better. Otherwise I feel like I'm just drifting along with no real point if that makes any sense. Anyway enjoy and let me know what you think!

Harry sat on his bed; thoughtfully thumbing through one of the comics he'd…well he'd…borrowed. Alright so he'd stolen them…he knew that…it had been a spur of the moment thing and not something he'd ever even considered doing before. Even when he'd been at the Dursley's and completely desperate for food he'd never once stolen from the grocery store or even a bottle of milk off some ones doorstep. It had never even crossed his mind before. Yet he was curious. He had no idea why he'd randomly ended up in a dusty old stone room with just a pile of comics. He couldn't have said his floo destination _that _wrong, there was just something about those comics, as dusty and old as they were that prompted him to take them.

Yeah Ron was poor, but he'd had plenty of chances to do things like that for his friend before and never had he done it. Ron didn't like charity and Harry didn't even know for certain that the comics would even be valuable. Begrudgingly Harry had to admit to himself that he'd used his friends' financial status to justify stealing the comics to himself. But why? Was he simply just curious? Well forget curious for a minute he was definitely confused and beginning to feel quite guilty. The comics could be really precious to somebody, he'd be so upset…and absolutely fuming if someone stole his parents photo album. Could these comics mean that much to someone else? He could feel the guilt gnawing at his stomach, but there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He had stolen the comics in a moment of panic. He had saw something he was interested in, but had no desire to stay in that stone room for longer than he had to. He hadn't really thought of the consequences at the time, or really thought of it as stealing. But for some reason knowing he had a family to go back to had left him with no desire to explore that room or beyond it for longer than he had to. And he had no way to take them back either.

He could hear the slight murmurs of the conversation going on downstairs, which Harry presumed was quite a serious one. He resisted the urge to go and listen on the stairs. He really didn't need anything else to feel guilty about. He was going to have to tell Sirius about the comics he'd stolen, he had to find a way to put them back otherwise he would never be able to live with the fact that he may have stolen something important to someone. For a boy who had never stolen anything in his life, the fact that these comics could be precious to somebody was a big deal. But Sirius would know what to do…or Remus…or maybe not either of them.

Harry felt a stab of panic as he realised that asking them how to put them back would mean admitting he had stolen. What if they hated him? Remus knew Harry as the boy who had mastered a patronus and granted he'd seen him sneaking to Hogsmeade but he'd never stolen anything there, stealing was a completely different issue altogether. And Sirius…well Harry really didn't want his Godfather to think bad of him…what if he thought he stole all the time? They could start locking things away in the house…they'd never trust him…they could get the police…or wizard police or whatever their called! Ok so they probably wouldn't get the police. But what if they decided that he was too much trouble to take care of? Sirius had only just got out of Azkaban, he wouldn't want to deal with a criminal Godson, and Remus had enough to deal with anyway.

Hearing footsteps on the stairs he quickly stuffed the comics under his pillow and attempted to look casual as he heard the knocks on his door.

"Erm come in…" His voice seemed unnaturally high and he could have kicked himself for being so obvious.

The door opened and Sirius bounded into the room, followed by a more sedate Remus.

"Hey kiddo," Sirius jumped on the bed next to Harry, shoving him to the other side so there was room for Sirius against the headboard. "Remus and me, we've been thinking, and we think it's much too nice a day for us to be sitting inside. Sooooo how's about we all grab a broom and have some fun outside?" Remus who had been standing quietly came and sat at the edge of the bed.

"I don't remember being part of this 'thinking' we've been doing, but it is an awfully nice day." Harry grinned at the banter between the two and realisation that he was going to go flying…with his family…something he had never done before…and never really imagined himself doing.

"Yeah!! Can we go now? Where are your brooms? Can we race? OOO I know we can sort of play quiditch if you could like charm a few tennis balls or something!" Harry had jumped up by this point and was already at the door to his room. "Well are you two coming, we only have a few hours till it goes dark!"

Sirius laughed as he too jumped off the bed "Oh, only a few hours, is that all…well I suppose we best get going then, wouldn't want to waste any of my gloating time when I cream the both of you in a race.!" Pulling Remus up by the hand he teased "Come on old man, I know your joints are a bit stiff, but you can take an easy broom." Dodging the smack aimed at him from the 'old man' he ran from the room pulling an amused Harry behind him.

"See Mooney! I'm already too fast for ya!"

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Two hours later, two very sweaty mean and one boy made their way through the patio doors back into the house.

"Well Padfoot, who's the old man now?" A very amused Remus pointed out as he sat down at the kitchen table.

"Remus, Remus…I was simply going easy on you, I know you find your old age hard, I'm simply making the transition less painful," Sirius shrugged as he sat down too, pulling the boy stood next to him on to his knee with an "oomph!"

"Isn't that right pup? Your Godfather was simply being a good friend." With that he smiled innocently at Remus, his head cocked to one side, to show his great sacrifice.

Harry was too busy laughing to respond, "See, Mooney, the poor boy finds your attempt at riding a broom so funny he can barely speak, I fear you may have damaged the lad!"

Remus scoffed at this, "Oh Sirius, I think the boy is laughing at your inability to admit a man of 'my age' which by the way is only two months older than you, can ride a broom better than you." Harry looked up at this point, tears streaming down his face.

"You both sucked! So bad! Seriously…man I thought Neville was bad on a broom! I'm surprised you got them to stay in the air!" Collapsing into laughter once more he looked from Remus to Sirius both of which were feigning offence.

"Mooney, I think somebody's getting too big for his broom, don't you?" Sirius enquired his eyes sparkling with mirth.

"Why Sirius I do, what do you suggest we do with such arrogance?" Remus answered, his eyes too glinting with amusement.

"Well I think we should maybe… tickle it out of him!" With that Sirius picked up a squirming Harry and carried him to the couch in the other room. Where both he and Remus set about tickling the poor boy into a state of hysteria.

"Wait stop…ahhh…stop…ok it's gone…arrogance is gone…" Harry giggled as both men stopped in their ministrations for a moment, both eyeing him suspiciously.

"Hmmm, I'm not too sure, Mooney what would you say?" Sirius said directing his gaze towards Remus.

"Well I would say that depends on whether the pup intends to make me a cup of tea." Remus replied his hands starting to creep towards Harry once more.

"Yes…yes!! I'll make you tea!" He squealed, something which he could vehemently deny later on.

"Make that two cups of tea and you are free to go." Sirius said mock serious his hands too beginning to creep towards the boy again.

"Yes, two! I'll make two! Just stop please!" He pleaded wriggling to escape the oncoming hands.

"Hmmm, alright then I suppose we can let you go, just this once!" Sirius said, helping Harry to his feet. "But off you go, make us tea Mr arrogant!" He aimed a swat at Harry's behind as he made his way to the kitchen.

Harry laughed as he got to the doorway, grinning cheekily as he said, "You both still suck at flying though!"

He was through the kitchen door before either man had realised what he'd said.

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Sirius made his way up to the bathroom, leaving Remus and Harry in the living room, arguing over the best way to travel. Harry was adamant that floo travel was absolutely the 'worst way _ever!_" He chuckled to himself, thinking over the day they'd had. The awkwardness from the station was completely gone now, the three of them seeming to settle right into family life. Ok so it hadn't been an entirely normal day, they probably wouldn't be flying everyday and it wouldn't be so exciting or new but as first days went, it was pretty good.

He knew he had so much more they had yet to do, they hadn't even gone over any rules and as much as Sirius hated having to enforce rules, having just been in prison for thirteen years, he knew deep down that Harry needed it. As a child and teenager Sirius hadn't really had that many rules to follow. Not the normal ones like a bedtime, chores or a curfew. Oh he'd had to follow the pureblood rules, not embarrass his family, marry the right girl, make the right friends and of course not disrespect his mother or family. But as long as he didn't shame the family his mother and father had never really given two hoots about what he did. Oh he'd pushed and pushed at his boundaries, wandering in at 3 in the morning, only to get moaned at by the house elf for treading mud into the floor. He'd even written on the walls in the hall when he was about seven, only to have the come back an hour later to it all cleaned off by the house elf and not a word from his parents.

They had cared nothing about grades or anything remotely to do with his life that didn't benefit them. He was their heir, their legacy to carry on the black name and to become the next in Voldemort's circle. But even then they still had Regulas so they weren't too fussed if he didn't work out. By the time he started Hogwarts he was so desperate for some kind of parental concern that he would get into worse and worse trouble, yet the one time his parents took any notice and actually came down to Hogwarts was when he was first sorted. His father had been down the very next day, demanding a resort, when Dumbledore had eventually complied and the hat had said firmly that Sirius was most definitely a Gryffindor his father had completely lost it. That was the worst beating Sirius had ever received in his life. His friends and Dumbledore all knew of it yet there was nothing they could do. As long as he was a Black and lived under their roof, being pure bloods they retained the right to do exactly as they wished with their son.

He'd survived his childhood through naivety and desperation to please his parents. His teenage years he'd survived purely because of his friends. After his father had beaten him black and blue it became a ritual every summer and Christmas that he was home. His father seemed to be under the impression that he could 'beat' the Gryffindor out of him. And became more and more frustrated when he couldn't. When third year came Sirius felt nothing for his parents, his need to please or gain their attention was over, and instead he wanted to impress his friends. So there were pranks and games and never much emotion showing. He wanted to be the fun Sirius, but they had seen through it and he'd discovered his family. And yes…all through school he'd been outrageous and he always would be an attention seeker, it was just in his nature now. But never would he subject a child to the hell he had to go through. Not the beatings, which went without saying because he'd never beat Harry. But the lack of attention, the lack of care about his welfare, because as much as Harry might in the future moan about rules or bedtimes or whatever he'd be more hurt if he didn't have them. He'd already not had any one in his life who cared enough to ensure his safety and health on a daily basis, Sirius and Remus both needed to work hard to undo the damage already caused by years of neglect at the Dursley's.

Turning the shower on Sirius vowed to himself that he wouldn't let Harry down.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N- Yey a fast update

A/N- Yey a fast update! I was so pleased at getting reviews that I felt like writing some more! Not a terribly exciting chapter but it will do! Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!

Harry squinted as the morning sunlight came through the curtains, his body protesting the harsh light that seemed determined to wake him up. His bed was just so comfortable! He didn't remember the last time he'd had such a good nights sleep! As a matter of fact he didn't really remember actually going to bed. He'd been arguing with Remus about floo travel, then he'd been telling him stories about his parents…and then…oooooo Sirius had came down from his shower and made them all hot chocolate and he didn't remember much after that. He must have fell asleep downstairs…Harry felt his face flush with the implications of that, it meant somebody must have carried him to bed. Like a child!

Oh god this whole family thing was getting complicated! Now they were carrying him to bed! Harry had a strong suspicion that they thought he was younger than he was. He was nearly 14 for Gods sake. He wasn't a baby that needed to be carried to bed! They were going to have to have a serious discussion about this! He'd been looking after himself for nearly all his life, he really didn't need them making him hot chocolate and carrying him to bed now.

Ok so if he was honest with himself he would admit that being looked after by parental- type people was kind of nice. He'd always been jealous of Ron and his family, more so after going to his house before second year. He'd even been slightly jealous of the scolding they'd gotten, for flying the car, that someone had cared enough about them to tell them off for it. He wasn't jealous of what he suspected happened later when all three boys had disappeared for a while before bedtime and Ron had come to bed red faced and puffy eyed, Harry was certain he'd seen Ron being careful to sleep on his stomach that night. Yeah he was most definitely not jealous of that.

Glancing at his bedside table and noticing it was only seven in the morning Harry summarised that it was probably too early to be getting up. Sliding a hand under his pillow he carefully extracted the comics he'd hastily shoved under there the day before. They were slightly crumpled but nothing major. Opening the first one he discovered as look would have it, he'd taken the first episode. Settling back against the headboard he settled down to read it.

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Remus was bored…it wasn't often he got bored, he rather enjoyed his own company, but it was already 9am and yet neither Sirius nor Harry was up. He didn't have much hope of seeing Sirius before lunchtime, the man never having been an early riser, but he had kind of hoped maybe Harry might be a morning person.

He'd already tidied the living room, been down to the shop for a paper (living in a wizarding village was kind of handy), read said paper and started work on a book he was trying to write, 'the truth about werewolves.' He had no hopes that it would be published or anything like that, but he'd wanted to write one for a long time and he figured now was the best time to do it.

It had taken him a very long time to come to terms with his condition; it wasn't something that you would end up embracing. But you learned to live with it, you had to. _He'd_ had to. He'd never forget the night he was bitten, the pure terror he'd felt staring into them yellow eyes of a beast that his parents had warned him about. Oh they'd warned him, but only the warnings that every parent gives and most children don't really take that much notice of. At least not until they are much older anyway, the warning about werewolves was right up there with 'don't fly to high on your broom,' 'don't run down the stairs,' and 'brush your teeth or they'll fall out.' Remus had been well and truly infected with 'it won't happen to me syndrome.' Well he was 6, not many 6 year olds take things like that seriously. So he'd snuck out, the night of the full moon and he was determined to visit the cat that had just had kittens in their shed. His dad hadn't let him go because he was being punished for biting his friend Marty. Well he'd been determined to go visit them. But he never got chance too.

They lived near the woods, in the country, just a rural village, where many wizarding families lived. Going out on the full moon was a no-no not so close to the woods. But he'd wanted to see the kittens so badly and well he'd never taken the warnings seriously. But Fenrir had been waiting…waiting for the one idiot that would come out that night. He'd barely made it to the shed door before he heard the snarling from behind him. He'd swivelled round and all he remembered seeing was those terrible yellow eyes. The rest was a blank; he didn't even remember the pain of the bite, probably in so much shock that he hadn't even registered it. But he remembered the pain afterwards, the pain in his parents' eyes every time they looked at him. Oh they loved him unconditionally always would but that night everything changed. And he knew it killed his parents that they couldn't take this curse for him, they couldn't be there with him through his transformations.

As a 6 year old the transformations had been terrifying. Not necessarily the pain, but being taken into the cellar, all alone, with its stone walls and floor, to stop him escaping and knowing what was coming was the worst feeling ever. His whole life had been spent dreading the full moon; there was no simple enjoyment out of life, simply the waiting, and the dreading of the full moon. It was there all the time in his home, oh they tried to act like a normal family, but he could tell everyone was just counting down the days, dreading the day of the full moon.

He would always be so grateful to Hogwarts, to Dumbledore. It had changed his life; his friends had changed his life. He knew they were real friends, knew that the friendship had affected them all in some way. It had saved Sirius from self destructing to gain his parents approval and acceptance. It had saved Remus from a life of dread for that one day of the month. James, it had saved from becoming the spoilt child his parents always feared he'd become. And Peter…well obviously their friendship didn't do a lot for Peter.

He wanted other people to be able to have the same experience as him, to not just give up on life because of their condition. Not everyone had to turn out like Fenrir Greyback or simply live in isolation, there weren't just two options and Remus desperately wanted people to know that. He doubted anyone would ever publish any book written by a werewolf, defending werewolves, but it was worth a try and it made him feel as if he was doing something worthwhile. It might take everything he had, but he was going to show Harry that no matter what every ones life was worth something. And knowing what Harry probably had to face in the future…well that was definitely going to be a vital lesson in his life.

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Harry sighed in disappointment as he finished the last of the three comics he'd taken. They were so good! Really exciting, with some hidden messages about the wizarding world as well. It seemed whoever had written them was an avid supporter of muggles and wizards being one and the same. It was strangely similar to his own life. The main character 'john' being an orphan, growing up in an orphanage where he wasn't really treated very well. He had all these weird powers and would do all sorts of things as revenge on his teachers or bullies. The comics were really quite entertaining, the third one had shown him at the end, teaming up with an old wizard and teaching everyone in the orphanage a lesson. He really wanted to read more, by the looks of that room there was so many of them! But he'd never get to that room again, as much as he wanted too, and well…he really didn't want to get into a habit of stealing things, he felt guilty enough about the three he'd already taken.

Noticing it was quarter past nine he stuffed the comics back under his pillow and swung his legs out of bed. Surely somebody would be up by now.

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Remus looked up from his writing as he saw Harry enter the living room.

"Morning Cub…" He smiled warmly, "Sleep well?"

Harry grinned and plonked himself down onto the couch.

"Yeah I slept great! Cept I don't think my body has realised it's the holidays and I don't actually have to get up for lessons!"

Remus chuckled at that, remembering how frustrated he used to get at his bodies inability to let him sleep during the holidays.

"Ah, I can relate to that! I've grown so used to early mornings, that no matter how hard I try I just can't seem to sleep past seven! Your Godfather on the other hand has never suffered from this! His body seems to have trouble waking him up at any time before lunch!"

"Excuse me Remus, but it is not yet lunchtime and well what do you know I am up…and as you can see from looking at such perfection…my body appreciates the beauty sleep!"

Both occupants of the living room jumped at the voice coming from the doorway, Harry beginning to giggle as he noticed Sirius' dishevelled appearance, his hair hadn't been brushed yet, he still had on his sleep pants and it was obvious a crumpled t-shirt had been hastily pulled on.

"I think you could do with a bit more of that beauty sleep Sirius your body doesn't seem to be fully appreciating it yet!" Came the reply from an amused Remus.

Sirius let out a wail and flung himself onto the couch next to Harry, "Remus are you saying I'm _ugly? _Or worse _oh my god _you're calling me fat! Quick…somebody go buy some cabbages! That's all I'll eat for a week!"

Even Remus couldn't control his laughter at this point and flung the newly bought paper at Sirius. "Get up you idiot! I'm hungry and as your last up you can cook!"

Sirius sat up staring at Remus in shock.

"Excuse me? You expect me to cook? Since when has the last person up had to cook?" He exclaimed, looking offended that Remus would even make such a suggestion!

"House rule." Remus answered calmly.

"House…house…_what?_" Sirius spluttered and Harry couldn't help but giggle again at Sirius' disgust at being asked to cook breakfast.

"I think it's rather fair don't you Harry? Seen as everyone has to wait for that person to get up, they should cook, as you said yourself Sirius you want us to all eat together." Remus smiled innocently then at his friend as Sirius turned accusing eyes to Harry.

"You wouldn't betray me Prongslet? You can't expect me to cook this early in the morning!"

Harry let out another giggle, finding the whole situation highly amusing.

"I don't care who cooks, I'm just hungry." He finally answered, unable to meet Sirius' eyes without giggling.

Sirius huffed as he got off the couch.

"Betrayed by my own Godson! Who would have thought! Well I suggest you both watch your backs today! You never know what might hit you!" With that he left the living room with an evil laugh that set Harry off into fresh giggles.

Remus rolled his eyes and went back to his writing and Harry found himself flicking through that days issue of the daily prophet, that Remus had thrown. It was the headline on page 6 that made Harry nearly faint.

"_**Valuable comics' stolen-ministry has no leads." **_

…tbc


	7. Chapter 7

It couldn't be…it couldn't be the same comics he had hidden under his pillow! It just couldn't be. Harry quickly closed the paper shut and flung it across the room, much to the surprise of Remus who suddenly found himself hit on the back of the head by a flying paper. Harry gasped as Remus turned around, a bemused look on his face.

'Erm…sorry Remus…you erm…you had like a…a spider…fly…beetle thing on…your head…yeah…right on your head…' Harry trailed off as Remus grinned.

'Well Harry, thank you for getting rid of the spider-fly-beetle-thing in the most effective way possible, a newspaper to the back of the head…genius! Don't know why muggles ever invented bug sprays.' He chuckled as he folded his papers and rose from the desk chair.

'Erm…you're welcome?' Harry, said, his stomach in knots as he watched Remus retrieve the dreaded paper and place it on the desk. Oh Merlin…oh bloody Merlin! This would happen to him…the one thing he ever stole…the ONE thing would end up being some sort of valuable comic.

He tried to calm his nerves as he followed Remus into the kitchen…it might be some other comics, the ones he stole were all piled up, they didn't seem special! If they were that valuable then they would be in a special cases or something!

Yet somewhere in the pit of Harry's stomach was a feeling of dread, he knew…he just knew that the comics he'd stolen were the one's being searched for by the ministry.

Harry sat in silence at the kitchen table, twirling eggs round his plate with his fork.

'Really Sirius…they aren't that bad…we can avoid the black bits…and that bit of shell I swallowed…I only choked for ten seconds…fifteen tops!' Remus struggled to hold back his chuckles as he tried in vain to convince Sirius his cooking wasn't completely inedible.

'Oh who are you trying to kid Remmy! I warned you not to make me cook…there was a reason for that, other than pure laziness!' Sirius answered, flicking a piece of egg at Remus.

'Try to set some sort of example Sirius please!' Remus scolded, his eyes sparkling with mirth.

'Oh right yeah…Harry we don't throw food at the table…but flicking it…well that's completely different!' He grinned cheekily at Remus as another forkful of eggs hit the werewolf in the face.

'Only when the food is completely inedible!' Remus countered, before both men fell silent, finally noticing their very silent Godson staring into space, slowly moving food around his plate.

'Hey kiddo…' Sirius removed the fork from the oblivious boys' hand. 'I think those eggs need a rest…they must be getting kinda tired…all that twirling round and round their doin.'

Harry looked up startled, as he noticed he was no longer holding his fork.

'Oh…erm Sirius…you erm…you have my fork…' He stuttered, the knots in his stomach becoming tighter as he looked at his Godfathers concerned face.

'You ok kiddo?' Sirius questioned, feeling the boys forehead. 'You don't feel hot…but your face looks all flushed…dyou reckon we should get a healer Mooney?'

Sirius turned his head to Remus, staring worriedly at his best friend, waiting for confirmation.

'I don't know …Harry how do you feel?' Both men turned their gazes towards the stunned boy, who was staring at them in horror.

Harry was in a mess, he could hear distant conversation going on around him but all he could concentrate on was this sense of panic. He hadn't even read the article and yet he knew it was the comics he had stolen.

He could be arrested! Sirius and Remus were going to find out…they'd hate him…he'd be kicked out of Hogwarts…he'd have nowhere to go. He'd be back to the Dursley's as quick as you could say quiditch…that's if he didn't go to Azkaban! Oh god the dementors! He couldn't stand it!

And even if he didn't go to Azkaban he'd be kicked out of Hogwarts for sure…they kicked him out when Dobby did magic at the Dursleys they'd definitely expel him for stealing valuable comics!

He could see black spots in front of his eyes as he struggled to breathe, his breath coming in short bursts, he was vaguely aware of people frantically calling his name before everything went black…

Remus watched as his best friend paced frantically around the living room, glancing occasionally at the sleeping boy on the couch. Sirius had been pacing like that ever since the healer had left; Harry had suffered from some sort of anxiety attack, causing his magic to flare up defensively. Which was why the boy was now sleeping it off on the sofa.

They didn't know what had caused the panic attack, they couldn't until Harry woke up, and even then the healer had warned them he might not want to talk about it. Remus thought himself quite a good reader of people but he had no idea what could have caused Harry to have a panic attack. It was worrying him certainly, but it was driving Sirius crazy.

'Mooney…' Remus turned to his best friend once more, as he stared at his Godson, eyes brimming with unshed tears. 'What did I do…?'

Sirius looked lost; it was times like these that Remus was reminded of just how fragile his best friend was. He shook his head sadly.

'Nothing Siri…everything was fine…you're doing great, it's a big shock for Harry, living with us…he's probably just overwhelmed.'

Remus watched as this registered with Sirius, watched as his blue eyes finally met Remus' amber ones.

'I'm scared…' It was said in a whisper, as if Sirius was scared of saying the words aloud. 'He's so fragile Mooney…he's just a child and he's already been through so much…what if I'm not what he needs?'

Remus stood up and strode across the room until he was eye to eye with his friend.

'Sirius Black…do not start this now! Harry needs you…he needs _us _… I am not going to let you stand there doubting your abilities or your place in his life, when you know full well you didn't let me doubt mine! You said it yourself…he's a _child _Sirius…a teenager really, there are going to be many more dramas to come we can be certain of it! Don't you dare doubt your place in his life! In the past two days Harry has been a completely different boy, I taught him last year remember…and trust me his eyes didn't light up that way then, and his smile was a lot less frequent. It's early days Sirius…but we're doing fine…you need to have more faith in yourself…in _us!' _

Sirius nodded his head slowly…Remus was right…he was being selfish, but seeing Harry gasping for breath, not responding to them had been terrifying. It was just a panic attack, but what about the future…if he was anything like James there was going to be a lot more injuries and scares. If he couldn't handle a panic attack how could he handle anything else?

Because he had too…that was why. He loved Harry…loved him more than he would ever love anyone. Harry would always come first…he had to get a grip.

'Thanks Rem…I do have faith in us…I just panicked I guess…Harry and I seem to have that in common.' He laughed softly…signalling to Remus that he was ok now…he'd get through it.

'I know and I panic too, but we need to be calm for him. I know its hard Padfoot; you have all this pent up grief that you never got chance to release. But Harry having a panic attack is not like losing James Siri….he's not dying.'

Sirius turned away quickly, swiping at his eyes with his arm.

'This isn't about that…we're talking about Harry.'

'It _is _Sirius and you know it is…you're going to have to talk about it at some point…he's gone Siri…have you even cried yet? You need to grieve.' Remus laid a hand on his friends shoulder only to have it shrugged off; although he could not see Sirius' face he knew he was getting angry.

'I had thirteen years to grieve Remus! I've done it all! I'm done! I had thirteen years of sadness! Thirteen miserable years…I've grieved Remus…so just let it go because this isn't about James!'

'Thirteen years of dementors, sucking away your soul! Taking away any good memory you have! That's not grieving! Reliving your sorrow over and over isn't grieving Sirius!

James and Lilly are dead! He was like your brother, you two had this bond that I don't know anyone else to have…and yet you don't really talk about him…you don't mention him! You don't even cry over him…so don't tell me you've grieved Sirius because you can't even bring yourself to remember!'

Sirius growled low in his throat before punching the wall in anger…his knuckles cracking as he hissed in pain. Remus made a move towards his friend.

'No! … Don't! I can't grieve for him Remus! I can't do it! Once I start I won't be able to stop…because he's…he's gone…and…I'm angry at him Rem! I'm angry at him for leaving us! For leaving Harry! For listening to me! For not trusting his own instinct with choosing me as secret keeper! He never listened to me Remus! Never! Why did he pick that one time to trust my judgement! And it just…it makes me so angry! And I don't want to be angry at him Mooney, he's dead…you shouldn't be angry at the dead…but I am…I am… and there's nothing I can do about it!'

Remus pulled his friend into a hug, ignoring the protests; he hugged the limp body to him until he felt some response. As Sirius' arms tentavely wrapped around him and his whole body began to shake. He ignored the tears staining his shirt, as well as the ones cascading down his own face as he comforted and whispered to his friend.

'You're allowed to be angry Siri…it's what keeps him alive…James wasn't perfect and just because he's dead doesn't mean we have to remember him like that. We remember him as he was…the real James…and if he would have survived we would have felt angry that he'd had to fight alone…so you're allowed to feel angry that he's dead Sirius.'

'I just…I need him Remmy…I need him here…and he's not…and I can't think about it because it just…it just hurts too much…sometimes I just can't comprehend it…I've had thirteen years without him…and Lilly…and I just couldn't remember the good stuff…I wasn't allowed to…and now I am and it's making me miss him even more…how are we supposed to live without him Mooney? How are we expected to?'

Sirius' voice was muffled but Remus could hear every word, and it broke his heart. This was good…it was what he wanted…for Sirius to grieve…as he'd had too…it was healthy…but James had been Sirius' family…they'd all been family. But unlike the others who had their real family to love as well. Sirius didn't have that, he just had them…his friends and to lose 3 of them, including Peter, in a tragic night that he blamed himself for was just too much for Sirius to handle alone.

So Remus guided them over to the couch…and he hugged him and patted his back. And when he'd calmed down they talked…about James, about Peter, about Lilly, and about that night. They talked until they saw the sun rising from the window, until both men fell asleep. Contented smiles on their faces.

They weren't completely healed…but they were on the way.

A/N- I can only apologise! Soooo much for the long wait! It's not even a great chapter! But it was bugging me that there were issues that needed dealing with. I like characters to seem real! I wanted to make this chapter really long for you all but I just felt it needed to end there.

Next we shall find out more about the comics…and how will Harry explain his panic attack!

Any constructive criticism is appreciated!


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